Acting on Same-Sex Attraction is Beautiful & Enriching.
Acting on our same-sex attraction(s) is beautiful and enriching for our same-gender friendships, when expressed within the bounds that the Lord has set. But wait, “Doesn’t the revised For the Strength of Youth guidebook say that acting on or pursuing same-sex attraction is sinful?” some may ask. Yes, it does, but in what context?
Within the bounds the Lord has set.
The problem with the term “same-sex [or gender] attraction” or descriptor “same-sex-attracted,” is that it’s somewhat vague. Same-sex attraction can imply sexual, emotional, or spiritual attraction to someone of the same gender, but, in our culture, we use the term almost exclusively to mean same-gender sexual attraction specifically. Sexual attraction for the same gender is clearly the aspect that is disordered, and, if acted on or pursued, will lead us to sin, stepping outside the bounds of the proper sexual expression God ordained to be between a married man and woman. (As a side note: I use the word “disordered” in the true sense of the word, not to denote same-sex attraction as a mental health disorder or illness, but in the sense that God ordered sexual relations and sexual desires to be for and between a man and woman; and therefore, same-gender sexual attraction and sexual relations are out of the normal order God has established. As the scriptures say; “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”)
Although same-gender sexual attraction is clearly out of order with God’s design, spiritual and emotional attraction to the same gender is natural, beautiful, and can help us to bond with and enrich the quality of our friendships with our same-sex peers. Friendships can be more deeply nourished, sprouting truly into a more closely-bonded philadelphia (love of brothers). I’ve written about this already, but through expressing deeper platonic intimacy and affection with our same-sex friends, we can have the Jesus-John or David-Jonathan-like brotherhoods that they enjoyed, without the worldly, social constraints our cultures may place on our relationships with others.
The khashmmakh, or nose kiss, is a common, intimate greeting among Arabs—a direct remnant of the platonic intimacy described in the Bible, that has since died out in the West.
All this being said, I hope that we can come up with a term that more accurately describes the disordered sexual attraction that we need to avoid and abstain from pursuing; distinguishing it from the other healthy forms of attraction or intimacy that we can, and should, act on and pursue, in healthy, righteous ways. I have never heard of a perfect term or acronym to best describe this, but maybe instead we could use the acronym/term HSA (homosexual attraction) to specify the same-gender sexual attraction itself as the thing we’re trying not to act on or pursue? This way maybe we won’t also demonise or “homosexualise” healthy forms of same-gender affection and intimacy? I don’t know what the right solution is. I’m interested if anyone else has an idea for a clearer, more effective term that we can use. Contact me if you have any ideas; I’d love to hear them.
