My Response to David Archuleta, as a Faithful, Gay Latter-day Saint
It’s almost like clockwork. A high-profile member of the church who is gay/same-sex attracted, or a well-meaning ally, becomes a vocal activist, leaves the Church in a public way, or otherwise makes choices that are against core covenants and doctrines of the gospel. Sometimes they become antagonistic towards the Church and its members.
This spurs a reaction, as social media posts and public figures often do. Some reactions are heartfelt, mournful and based in truth. Others are blatantly disrespectful or otherwise do not show understanding of the basic experience of same-sex attraction. The latter reactions are ones I do not often give much time to.
Even so, with any of these reactions, there are opposite reactions, “See? This is how homophobic the Church is!” This is often followed by mischaracterizations of what it’s like for some of us in the Church—that we’re not allowed to love or that we have to endlessly suppress our sexuality, or that we’re not “equal” with heterosexual members. I refuse to believe those ideas.
I often feel caught in the crossfire.
The situation with David Archuleta hits me deeply. I often feel like I’m expected to run to his defense against my fellow “homophobic” Church members. Sometimes I will defend him and express my understanding. I have felt many of the same things David has felt. That empathy is already there—sans being in the public eye for the Church and for the youth—I can’t imagine that enormous responsibility. But defending him will be on my own terms; not of those within prominent LGBT circles and their allies.
When someone like David walks away from covenants, it can definitely feel like a breakup of sorts. He has his agency, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings about it. And it hurts even more when he turns around and mocks the Church. I often joke about how if he had just accepted my proposal to be my “platonic bromate” for life, he’d be in a very different situation (such a proposal only happened in my mind)! But I digress.
It can be very sad and angering for some of us staying on the covenant path. I personally am frustrated about the cultural influence that many LGBT narratives have over our youth and how alluring these narratives are, especially in the name of “love,” “equality” and “diversity.” I suspect these influences are tenfold in the music and show business industries.
I believe in marriage between a man and a woman. I believe it is ordained by God and that it was meant, in part, to lead to a stable nuclear family in which to raise children. I also believe there are more opportunities for friendship and brotherhood or sisterhood that we have not yet even imagined. There is much more intimacy to be had outside of romance and marriage. Perhaps this intimacy has existed in Christian past but has been overshadowed by an idolatry of romance.
I know it’s something that I long for and I wonder if elevating the importance of friendship would help more LGB individuals stay on the covenant path. While not well-known in high-profile spaces, there are several people in the LGB umbrella striving to keep covenants and going forward with all other members of the Church. I will continue to dedicate myself to building friendship and brotherhood as part of my own journey on that covenant path.
Written by Alex Lindstrom
Alex lives in Ogden, UT. He works as a budget analyst for a hydropower utility agency. He loves music and sings with the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square.
