How a Lack of Healthy Nudity Exacerbates Body Dysmorphia and the Hypersexulisation of Society
Bradley Column Shower Ad
What do you see in this photo above? If you’re anything like the vast majority of the American population, this immediately elicits an uncomfortable, repulsive reaction as some inappropriate homoerotic scene. In reality, this is a benign advertisement for the Bradley “Column Shower”, circa 1967. It gives a snapshot into what healthy nudity among the same sex used to look like in that era. Our adverse reaction to something so innocent is the byproduct of our perverse cultural perspective surrounding nudity. I’m not saying that the reaction is perverse, but rather that it derives from our perverse culture that has sexualised nearly everything regarding nudity, and to our detriment.
First, let me define what I mean by “healthy nudity”: Healthy nudity in my experience, and from the examples in other cultures, is being naked in front of family members and peers of the same sex, in gender-specific spaces, like locker rooms, public showers, saunas, etc. Healthy nudity includes the ability to feel comfortable and safe being naked around our family and peers in these areas. I am not advocating for nudism or naturism, where nudity is allowed in all public spaces, in which both men and women are openly nude around one another. No, I think this is highly inappropriate and immoral. There’s a reason God gave garments of skins to Adam and Eve and his prophets have admonished the saints to be modest.
In the not-too-distant past, there was absolutely nothing erotic or sexual about the above Bradley shower scene whatsoever. It was simply a fact of life that men could and should feel comfortable being nude around one another in an appropriate, designated place. No one would think twice about stripping down to shower or change after sports, physical education, or work. To the Boomers and Gen-Xers, this was just “how it is”—it was perfectly normal. My dad (born in 1971), recalls being required to shower after track or cross country practice in high school. It was weird, and frankly unhygienic, if you didn’t do that afterward.
Take a look at these communal showers that used to be found at Church-run facilities. Similar accommodations were ubiquitous at all Church-run facilities, including at the MTC (Missionary Training Center), but by the time I served my mission in 2013, these had been replaced by individually separated stalls with curtains. The same has been done to the men’s locker room at BYU-Idaho. (I’m not sure about the BYU-Provo locker rooms, since I’ve never been to those facilities.)
Men’s locker room at the Richard’s Building, BYU-Provo
Men’s locker room at BYU-Idaho
MTC men’s showers; screenshot taken from JedCzech Mission’s YouTube video, MTC Tree of Life
Everything started changing for us Millennials. Fast forward to the 1990s and early 2000s when I was growing up: I remember seeing my dad naked when we showered together when I was very young, but that stopped early on. In my middle school years, if you ever got completely nude or showered after gym or sports, you were teased for being a weirdo. The only people that I ever saw nude in the gym were the old fogies, who obviously couldn’t care less who saw their bodies.
In high school, I did experience some minimal nudity with my peers showering after swim team practice or water polo games, but it definitely wasn’t normal for the team to do altogether. Most guys would, cringingly, awkwardly, come into the locker room and change behind a towel, showing clear discomfort being naked around their peers, in what should be a safe environment. Isn’t that one of the main purposes of having separate, gender-specific locker rooms in the first place? So, we can feel comfortable in our own skin around other guys, who all have the same “equipment” as us?
I realise that this shift to discomfort around nudity and the desire for stricter privacy is in large part a response to the sexualisation of our society; but, overall it’s a massive overcorrection. This overcorrection, in my opinion, has been incredibly detrimental to men’s self-confidence, body image, and has only exacerbated the hypersexualisation of the human body. Although this issue, I believe, affects women as much as, if not more than, men, I will be writing from the perspective of a man and focusing on its impact on men in our culture.
So what’s the point? Why does this even matter? Well, in my personal experience, and in the experiences of many men that I’ve interacted with, a lack of healthy same-gender nudity adversely affected our lives. It has created an environment which is more conducive to developing body dysmorphia in some individuals, and fosters the hypersexualisation of society. Admittedly, the examples I’ve seen supporting these conclusions are anecdotal, but to my knowledge there aren’t even studies that examine these societal phenomena (if you know of any, I’d love to see them). I’ve discussed this topic with various men from many different men’s support groups and ministries over the years, and below is a summation of what I’ve heard from these men on how they’ve been affected.
How this Affects Body Dysmorphia
According to WebMD, body dysmorphia, or BDD (body dysmorphic disorder), “is a mental health disorder that leads to distress over your appearance.” The NIH notes that, “Patients with BDD believe they look ugly or deformed … , when in reality they look normal. As a result of their appearance concerns, they may stop working and socializing, become housebound, and even commit suicide”. There are many manifestations of this disorder, and, in my opinion, these are often linked to the similar experiences of gender dysphoria and even the “furry”, anthropomorphic animal phenomenon, in which many exhibit “species dysphoria”. These are extreme examples, but they’re interconnected on some level.
Many of the Millennial men that I’ve spoken to have stated that they grew up seeing their fathers naked until they were anywhere from 5-10, then there was a sudden shift where they were prompted to cover up. Most of them never saw any nudity in their junior high or high school locker rooms either among their peers. I remember seeing kids in middle and high school changing after PE, then just layering on AXE spray deodorant, and going back to class all sweaty—God forbid they dare use the available showers at the end of the lockers.
The first and obvious thing that goes in this type of culture is the deprivation of boys being able to see each other, adolescents, or more mature men naked. OK, that doesn’t sound so bad having a little privacy, but it seems, in our effort to create greater privacy in “locker-room spaces”, that we’ve not only placed literal barriers between ourselves and other men in our community, we’ve isolated ourselves from our family and peers, not being able to properly assess what other boys’ or men’s bodies look like—young bodies, mature bodies, elderly bodies—and what physical maturation is supposed to look like. We never get to see what normal bodies look like compared to our own. Ultimately, what is lost is the ability to see where we fit in among other boys and men; where we fit in socially, developmentally, and at a fundamental level, how we accept ourselves in our maleness and masculinity.
For most boys growing into men, there’s already a massive discomfort going through the awkward puberty process, but when boys aren’t able to see the full gamut of different pre-pubescent, adolescent, and matured bodies, it can make this process even harder and more confusing. We all need reference points and examples of what to look forward to. We need to see that we’re not different from other boys or men; we need to see that we’re like them. Yes, of course there are physical differences, but seeing the general similarity is comforting and fosters a sense of belonging. Without this, boys and adolescents can sometimes dissociate from their bodies through the maturation process. They become uncomfortable with the changes they see, and find comfort and escape in associating with another identity.
Just like with anything of course, the unhealthy comparison, through which we constantly view ourselves as inferior or less-than, because we don’t have x,y, or z feature or achievement, is denigrating. But, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that there’s merit and growth in being able to compare ourselves with other boys and men in our demographic and see that we’re the same as them; that we belong; that we are masculine like them in our unique way and expression.
Ofttimes, the only exposure to male nudity that Millennial men or younger generations have had is through the distorted lens of Hollywood or when/if they’re exposed to pornography. These unnatural, unproportional distortions of the male physique perniciously warp men’s minds as to what the “peak”, “ideal” male body should be like, what sex should look like, what it looks like to be a “real”, “masculine” man should like like in order to ever truly be able to please and be compatible for a woman. Overall, they present a perverted view of what “normalcy” should look like. And, how would they know any better? They haven’t seen any examples anywhere else, except maybe that one random old guy changing in the locker room.
This distorted ideal that so many young men aspire to can often manifest as an obsession to achieve bigger, bulkier muscles, the perfect washboard abs, and whatnot. And when this worldly ideal can’t be achieved to the degree they think is best, it can lead to crushing shame and/or mental distress for his perceived bodily flaws or defects. This sometimes can even lead to dissociation from one’s own body, where one feels disconnected or even disgusted with himself and his perceived deficiencies. So, he fantasises or even sexualises being someone or something else to avoid the intense discomfort he feels with his own being.
So much of this could be avoided if men were simply able to see in-person, real-life examples of the average male physique from other family members or peers, rather than all or the majority of our perception being formed by what we see on the screen and through media. When boys and adolescents are able to have healthy role models to look up to, examples of what they can expect for themselves, this can help prevent obsessing over perceived deficiencies or seeking to achieve unrealistic bodily aspirations. They have a “road map” to guide them into manhood, to help them feel that they belong in the communal brotherhood.
Communal shower circa 1940
How this Fosters Hypersexualisation of Society
One of the most prevalent lies in our culture is the notion that nudity = sex. The progressive secular world promotes the idea that showing more skin is sexy and a sure way to attract romantic partners. On the flip side, conservative Christian “purity culture” tells us that showing too much of an arbitrarily determined amount of skin is highly inappropriate, and even unchaste. Both viewpoints are equally destructive. The secular viewpoint promotes a self-absorbed, pleasure-centric existence; whereas the purity culture viewpoint teaches us that we should be self-mortifying and ashamed of our bodies. Both these ideologies teach us that everything is about sex—that nakedness is only about sex.
Much of this, again, goes back to Hollywood and the porn culture exploiting every inch of the human body and experience and something sexual. The conservative Christian response however has been a massive overcorrection. This overcorrection is more or less telling society and our children that, yes, Hollywood and the porn industry are correct; everything is about sex, so we better excessively cover up. So, we’re wittingly (or not) eroticising everything to do with nudity, to the point where many Christian parents are uncomfortable or fear even mentioning genitalia and teaching their children the proper anatomical names and functions of their genitalia. To where even just the benign act of changing or showering in the locker room after a sports match becomes something weirdly sexualised. It’s no wonder we live in such a hypersexualised society.
One of my friends recounted to me how, in his town, the culture in his family and among the other boys was extremely prudish, to the point where the other boys would go to extreme lengths to be covered up when changing at Boys Scouts camp or similar situations. The next town over had a very different culture around nudity, and he had heard stories that the boys there would often do what boys do: mess around in the locker room naked, or skinny dipping, or whatever. He internalised this to mean that he must be abnormal and didn’t belong, and the boys in his town didn’t accept him. Eventually, this led my friend to eroticise his male peers and the platonic intimacy that he never was able to experience with them. (There are a plethora of psychological studies you can find online discussing how feelings of neglect or trauma can be sexualised or eroticised, that I’m not going to bore you with them here—you’re smart enough to research them on your own time.)
And it’s not just with him. This is the same story I’ve heard over and over again from dozens of men I’ve associated with in different men’s groups and ministries: That their fathers were never nude around them in any situations because of modesty concerns. That some of their parents even went out their way to censor any nudity in the home, like photos of Greek gods in textbooks or artwork. That they never once had any exposure to male bodies after workouts or sports while in school. They were always nude in private or covered up, period. So, when they started maturing and getting curious about their bodies and others’ bodies, they had subconsciously come to sexualise everything about both the female and male naked body.
If everything about the body has become or could be sexual, then we set up our children to develop unhealthy sexual desires or attractions to both the opposite and same genders.
The Solution
If the only exposure that our children receive to nudity is from Hollywood, or no exposure at all because we’re too afraid to even bring up sex or our genitalia, children are naturally going to be curious to seek out knowledge on the subject on their own terms—often in all the wrong ways—because their parents weren’t there to give them more open, honest, and inspired guidance on the subject. Do we want our sons to find out on their own about the function of their genitalia and about sex from their peers? Obviously, no. We need to be at the forefront to model masculinity for our sons, and to have frequent age-appropriate discussion about their bodies’ functions, the nature and purpose of sexuality from God’s perspective, and God’s purpose for procreation and family. If we can frame things through an eternal perspective for our sons, they will have a more clearly marked path to tread through life, and hopefully, ultimately, back to Heavenly Father.
I get that Christian parents want to protect their children from developing a worldly view of sex and from falling into fornication, but being silent on the issue is not helping in that fight. Have you read the Bible? Sex is mentioned all over the place! The prophets were obviously not afraid of discussing procreation nor sexual matters in their Holy Writ, neither should we.
My four-year-old son is already starting to ask questions. He asks about erections, where babies come from, and is already making comments about how he’s growing hair on his arms like his “Papá”. When we’re in men’s locker room situations, like after visiting our local hot springs, we change naked together. He asks questions sometimes about my body and why it looks the way it does. From those experiences, we’re able to have open and honest discussions about maturing and growing, and the changes that will happen to his body when he gets older; and, we discuss where it’s appropriate to be naked and where it’s not. Of course, I don’t get into the gory details of sexual intercourse at his age, but I’m helping him to understand that his body will change to a man’s someday, and someday, he’ll become a papá like me some day. I never shy away from taking the opportunity to teach him a doctrinally correct perspective about his body and gender identity.
The other day I was showering at my grandma’s clubhouse gym, and after getting out of the stall, a buck-naked, Boomer-aged gentleman was drying off as well. He struck up a conversation, and I told him I was visiting my grandma, mentioning her name. He was delighted because he knew my grandma and mentioned what a wonderful woman she is. There was no tinge of awkwardness or creepiness about this situation whatsoever. It was just too guys naked in the locker room having a friendly conversation. That’s all there was to it; nothing more, nothing less.
Japanese boys and men bathing in the onsen
Russian friends in the banya exfoliating with the eucalyptus venik
Nudity among the same gender is still perfectly normal in at least a few cultures around the world. I love the bathhouse and sauna cultures in Korea, Japan, and Russia. In the Korean jjimjilbang and the Japanese onsen and sento (hot springs and bathhouses), nudity is obligatory for hygienic reasons. You are expected to wash thoroughly before bathing; bathers usually keep a small towel on their heads only. Similarly in Russia and other slavic countries, they have a rich history with banya, or sauna, a prominent part of sociality in their cultures. Here, nudity is not obligatory, but is simply an accepted reality of attending. Why wouldn’t you? (As a side note, it’s also crucial to note that these are highly conservative cultures where sexual perversion is highly disgraced in public. Russia is an extremely homophobic nation as well, so nothing erotic or homosexual would ever be tolerated in their bathhouses.) These are wonderful examples of what healthy, platonic nudity can and should look like among the same gender.
Many men that I’ve spoken with have told me that they’ve found profound healing as they’ve been able to experience healthy nudity with their family members and friends. They’ve told me how this has helped them to desexualise their bodies and the bodies of others. It’s helped them to bond and feel more belonging with other men, and more confident in their masculinity. I’ve personally experienced immense healing myself as I’ve been able to experience and normalise this platonic intimacy with my male peers. I know that I fit in with them. I am one of them; I belong with them; we share a common brotherhood.
It’s my hope that exchanges like this can be normalised and become second nature again, that we don’t need to think twice about comfortably being nude around our male relatives and friends in safe, gender-segregated places. We need to get back to providing a healthier, desexualised environment for our youth to grow up in, where they can feel comfortable in their own skin and feel a sense of belonging with other boys and young men. This starts in the home, among our peers, and in our local communities. Let’s stop making such a natural part of life so weird and uncomfortable, exacerbating the issues in our society. Change starts with us—let’s make it happen.
